In our reading today, Joseph has a dilemma. He is betrothed to Mary, and here she turns up pregnant with a baby that he knows is not his. So not okay in that society—could be punishable by death. If she wasn’t pregnant by the Holy Spirit, she could have had a dalliance with someone. Or she could have been raped by a Roman soldier, because that was a means of oppression then as now. Joseph, of course, is assuming that something dishonorable has happened and that he, being an honorable person, is supposed to divorce her and distance himself from this whole mess. He resolves to take this path, saving his own skin and leaving Mary to whatever consequences may come.
But just at this point, he has a dream. Maybe this decision is not sitting well with his conscience. Sure, he saves himself, but at the price of Mary and this unborn baby. Is that really the honorable thing? And the angel in his dream says, “Marry her. That’s the right thing. God’s got this. It’s going to be okay. Trust.”
Because divorcing Mary publicly would shame her and make her vulnerable to vigilante justice. Divorcing her quietly doesn’t deal with the fact that there is soon going to be a baby. And if Mary is saddled with an unwanted, unfathered baby, the odds are not good for either of them. We’re so used to this story going the way that it does; it’s hard to imagine any other outcomes. But can you imagine Baby Jesus discarded? All three of them—Joseph, Mary, and Jesus—are at a fork in the road, and anything is possible. Fortunately, Joseph decides to heed the angel voice in his dream, to choose the truly honorable and generous path, to accept Mary as his wife and to raise Jesus as his own son. This is an extraordinary act of grace and love.
You may recall that we know nothing factual about Jesus’ birth. The two accounts that we have—this one in Matthew and the other in Luke—were written decades later to give Jesus an origin story befitting someone who so radically reshaped the world. So why give him this story? What greater truths speak to us through this story from across the millennia?
The first truth about the coming of the Christ into our lives is that we have to say Yes. In Luke’s version of Jesus’ birth, the angel announces to Mary that she will be the bearer of God, and she assents. She says okay. In Matthew’s version, it is Joseph who must assent to become the human parent of God, to welcome this little stranger and raise him as his own. Without both Mary and Joseph on board, saying Yes, life for Jesus becomes orders of magnitude more challenging, and it’s challenging enough already. But with both Mary and Joseph to welcome this surprise baby, he has the solid ground to get a good footing in life. And Jesus breaks Mary and Joseph open to Emmanuel, God with us, God in us, God born into our lives and changing everything.
First takeaway
So the first truth is about saying Yes. Like Joseph, we can say Yes as an honorable, generous, grace-filled, life-giving response to God’s surprise entrances into our lives. We say Yes as a spiritual practice to be open to God doing a new thing in us and in those around us. We say Yes to fostering God’s presence in the world. We say Yes to be changed by choosing that fork in the road.
So Joseph says Yes to becoming the human father of Mary’s little stranger. What might extravagant welcome of that little stranger look like? On a literal level, I knew one woman who brought her baby girl home from the hospital and had a whole ritual ceremony to welcome her into the house. What a lovely beginning.
Years ago, I was taught a dance that mothers somewhere in Eastern Europe used to do to celebrate their babies surviving their first winter. The women stood in a circle with hands joined, and I think their babies were somehow wrapped in these cloth cradles that swung from their mothers’ arms as they danced and sang to their babies. What a loving, enveloping celebration and affirmation of these babies! These are ways of saying Yes specifically to new children in our lives.
Like Joseph, some people say Yes to raising children who are not their own, through blended families, foster care, or adoption. It is a huge commitment, and the children may not want a new parent. Perhaps some of you have made that journey. Or grandparents had to step in when parents were unavailable. What enormous grace and love it takes to meet such a challenge, to be part of the village raising a child.
That’s all a literal welcome of a little stranger, a literal saying Yes to a new human in our lives. On a metaphorical level, we are all invited to say Yes to opening our lives to Emmanuel, God-with-us, and then see what happens.
Second takeaway
Another takeaway from this story of Jesus’ birth is that this journey with God is not just about us as individuals. Joseph’s first choice was to do the thing that was safe for him. The angel touched that place of compassion and courage in Joseph’s heart and invited him to make a more daring choice that was life-giving to all three of them. We are all invited to listen to that angel, to make the edgier choice that is life-giving not just to ourselves but to everyone around us.
Note that the Prayer of Jesus that we say every Sunday is not individual but communal: It’s not “Give me this day my daily bread;” it’s “Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” This whole faith journey is all about community, all about taking care of each other and finding the Holy in our midst in the process.
Every Sunday we start the service by saying, “It is the living Christ who welcomes us, and we pray to encounter that living Christ in our midst today.” Maybe Jesus’ birth was something magic—born of a virgin, as the story says. Or maybe Jesus was born in a more usual way. Doesn’t actually matter. The real magic is people finding the Christ in their midst when they make the edgier choice to welcome Emmanuel into their hearts and into their community. And then anything is possible.
Third takeaway
A third takeaway from this story, if it wasn’t clear already, is that God colors outside the lines. What society dictates that righteous, honorable people do is not what God does. Get a virgin pregnant? How is that following anyone’s rules? Have her betrothed decide to accept her anyway and raise the baby as his own? Who does that? God does, apparently. This whole dilemma between what an honorable, righteous person should do and what God actually asks Joseph to do foreshadows Jesus’ repeated run-ins with people in his ministry who tell him he’s breaking the rules: good people don’t eat with those people, good people don’t heal on the sabbath, good people don’t forgive prostitutes and include them in their ministry, good people don’t talk with Samaritan women or Gentiles or Roman soldiers. Jesus is rocking the boat. Knock it off!
Before Jesus is even born, we are hearing key messages of his ministry. Say Yes to God being born in and around you. Know that God’s presence is for everyone, not just for individuals to hoard—it’s all about community. Stand not with what society says is okay; stand instead on the side of love, generosity, forgiveness, and acceptance. Listen for angels to steer your course. And prepare to be broken open by God-with-us. Amen.